no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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