Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
