the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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