anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
