During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
