I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
