It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
