i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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