I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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