Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
