do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My bed smells like the plague
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
