you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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