Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
