Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
