I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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