Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
