singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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