I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
