Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
