how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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