I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
