i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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