Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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