you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
your like the ambassador to my penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just pee around me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
