I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
