If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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