Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
