Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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