i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
they're like a gay fantastic four
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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