You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
