You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
