We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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