when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
