My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
