Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
