Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
