all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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