haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
