There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
