my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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