Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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