everyone is single if you try hard enough
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
