her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
