he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
