In the future we'll all be gay
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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