i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
