I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The power of my boobs compel you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
