I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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