I want to have your abortion
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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