I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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