Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
