Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize