Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
