Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
