I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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