Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
