Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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